My Favorite Ads From Super Bowl 2014

What a piece of shit that game was, huh? Denver just couldn't play ball if their lives depended on it. Granted, Peyton Manning did set a record for most completed passes in a Super Bowl but that means nothing when your team gets blown out in a 43 to 8 loss.

This was without a doubt the best
part of the night.

But whatever. While I tend to watch the Super Bowl every year, I rarely pay any attention to it. The only time I enjoy the game is when my team is in it, and neither Seattle nor Denver are my team. This year, I was looking forward to the commercials.

I know, I know. it's kind of trite to claim to watch the Super Bowl for the commercials but despite the decline in quality in recent years, for the most part they're still pretty clever. Sometimes even funny.

This year, however, the ads were mostly off their game. There were a few highlights, like the Budweiser "Puppy Love" one that aired during the fourth quarter (guaranteeing that a majority of the audience didn't see it thanks to Denver's lousy showing). I've taken the time to search out a few of my favorite commercials from the game so here they are in no particular order.

First of all, let me just get the Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Amazing Spider-Man 2 trailers out of the way. You know they're going to be included here so here you go.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

This one made my jaw drop. I loved the previous trailer but Marvel really holds nothing back in this new one. And with good reason considering it probably had one of the largest possible audiences. It really shows off how much of a bad-ass the Winter Soldier is. Plus, more Black Widow and Falcon.

Also, check out the cameo of comic writer Ed Brubaker, the creator of the Winter Soldier, at around the 20 second mark.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Another great Marvel movie coming out this year, this one officially kicking off the summer movie season on May 2. This "trailer" plays out more like a mini-movie as opposed to a true trailer, which really gives fans a sense of how the movie unravels. I'm glad to see more of the Rhino, showing him as more than just a "throw away villain" as he seems to be. Also, I like Jamie Foxx's portrayal of Max Dillon as an awkward scientist infatuated with Spider-Man. It brings to mind the Jim Carrey take of Edward Nygma from Batman Forever.

Transformers: Age of Extinction

A lot of people are critical about the fourth Transformers movie and with good reason; the others sucked. (I liked the first one but by no means was it a good movie.) However, this trailer makes the new movie look promising. Oh, it will, without a doubt, be a major shitfest, but at least it will be fun as hell. I mean, Optimus Prime riding Grimlock? The fact that the Dinobots are even in the movie? Holy crap, I can't wait for this one.

Radio Shack

This one was probably my favorite of the non-movie trailer commercials. I don't even like Radio Shack; I can't remember the last time I spent money in that store. But I really loved their 80s Nostalgia romp. The commercial features a shitton of classic 80s icons from Dee Snyder and Hulk Hogan to Teen Wolf and the California Raisins. It's put together so well that it's difficult to find any fault in it. Not that it's going to entice me to shop at Radio Shack at all, but I still applaud their efforts.

Squarespace

Another one I really like because it recognizes everything that I hate about the internet. Full of Idiotic Memes, Duckfaces, "Epic Fails" and faceswaps, Squarespace knows that the internet is basically fucked. They're, of course, trying to portray themselves as something different from what the internet has devolved into. Again, it fails to entice me to actually use the service but at least I now know that I'm not the only one who sees how much of a mess the internet has become.

Chobani

This one made the cut just by being narrated by Mandy Patinkin. Granted, the commercial is pretty humorous, with a wild bear ransacking a small town general store looking for something to eat when he finds, and offers to pay for, a cup of Chobani yogurt. I'm not a fan of Greek-style yogurt so I won't be switching brands any time soon, but good on Chobani for making me chuckle.

Toyota

The Muppets were everywhere during the commercials, blitzing the airwaves to promote their upcoming movie, Muppets Most Wanted (in theaters March 21!). Even though I love the Muppets, the best part of this ad was Terry Crews. Pairing him with a group of puppets really allowed him to cut loose and have fun, and that's what makes this commercial so enjoyable. Toyota, Shmoyota. Seeing Crews get down during Carnivale with his shirt tied around his neck like a cape is mighty chuckle-inducing.

Pistachios

I hate the Pistachios commercials but this one I really liked. The two-part ad was bookmarking an H&M commercial. The joke behind it is that, despite being a Super Bowl ad, it didn't raise sales within the 30 seconds of the first ad airing so they were forced to step up their game. It is ridiculously outlandish and works really well. I wouldn't consider myself a fan of Stephen Colbert but he was definitely a perfect choice for this role. He nailed it and made it probably the best 32 seconds of the entire night.

Even though the commercials provided minutes of entertainment last night, all in all, they were pretty dull. On top of that, they failed to entice me to even consider switching to their brands. Maybe it's me and I've just become so jaded through years and years of having advertisements shoved down my throat at every turn, or maybe my brand loyalty just runs deeper than I imagined, but the millions of dollars these companies spend on advertising during the Super Bowl just seems like a colossal waste.

And since you probably didn't get the chance to see it, here's the Budweiser commercial I mentioned earlier. I would never stoop so low as to actually drink Budweiser, but they do make some pretty good ads.