The Slippery Slope of Creating a Macro

I know it’s a little childish, but I’m a fan of macros. Love ‘em. Especially the funny ones. Like the Ermahgerd one, and Guido Jesus. Even some of the Your Ecards are humorous, at least the more offensive ones anyway. But there is a new macro that I spotted on Facebook that almost made me lose my shit.

Yes, the macro is from an idea that can into existence in 1985, paired with one from a movie from 1998. For the simplicity of math, the first is over 25 years old, the second is nearly 15 years old.

I know some people will think I should calm down. After all, it’s just an innocuous image of a screencap from Nintendo’s Duckhunt transposed with a shot of John Goodman from The Big Lebowski holding an orange NES zapper, making reference to his "Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?" line. It’s nothing to get upset about.

Maybe you’re right, but it still annoys me. Why? Because this macro was made by some kid that was born in the late 90s, at least 15 years after this game was popular, and thinks he’s clever because he played Duckhunt on Nintendulator and truly believes that no one has ever felt that way before. The sad part? Anyone who ever had an original NES, and knows the irritation of having to blow into the game cartridge in order to get it to play properly, has always wanted to shoot that fucking dog!

This macro would be like me, who was born in 1980, making a macro image of Neil Armstrong on the moon, and asking “Did anyone else expect him to do the moonwalk?” It’s ridiculous because I wasn’t alive when Neil Armstrong landed on the moon, so for me to have any expectations of the event is just nonsensical. (There’s also the fact that the moonwalk wasn’t around yet either, which is just as idiotic.)

I don’t want to discourage anyone from creating macros. A vast majority of them are absolute shit, but there are quite a few that are really funny. But can we at least not create macro images that are so completely outdated that most of society can’t relate to them?

And now, just to liven the mood, I leave you with this, which will one day become outdated but is currently relevant, which makes it funny…

Really people? A Resse Witherspoon Death Hoax?

This is probably the biggest example of the stupidity of humanity.

http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/371806/20120808/reese-witherspoon-dead-die-stabbed-twitter-rumor.htm

This supposed "death hoax" sprung up as a bad joke about the woman's last name. If you're unfamiliar with the joke, it goes a little something like this:

While death hoaxes about some big name celebrity are not rare (I mean, Eddie Murphy dies about once a month now), a person like Reese Witherspoon is not important enough to contrive a death hoax about. It's silly to think someone actually sat in their basement asking the question "Who should die this week?" and came up with Reese Witherspoon. I mean, if I was gonna pick a young, popular actress, I'd probably spread the rumor about Katie Holmes first. Given her marriage to Tom Cruise, it would probably be believable.

A Lesson In Super Hero Economics

Posting this just because.


Click image to see a larger versionSuperhero Economics: Bruce Wayne vs. Peter Parker via H&R Block

A Vacation for Rachel?

I originally posted this on my Facebook page but felt that it would be better served as a blog post.

I saw this yesterday and my only reaction was "Are you kidding me?"

http://www.indiegogo.com/Chick-fil-A-Rachel

This Indiegogo campaign began as a reaction to the video someone posted online showing him confronting a Chick-Fil-A employee during Wednesday's "Chick-Fil-A Appreciation day". The guy was wrong in every sense of the word and actually lost his high-paying executive job over the incident. But that's not my point.

The campaign's description begins "Rachel, an amazingly awesome and happy Chick-Fil-A employee was treated with great disrespect by a customer during Chick-Fil-A appreciation day." The harshest words she had to deal with were "I don't know how you can live with yourself working here". Disrespectful? Sure. Did she deserve it? No, especially considering the hard economic times we live in and the lengths people will go to put food on their tables at home (a point well expressed by this article). But I would bet the farm that that's FAR from the worst thing she's had to deal with. She probably takes worse abuse from customer's who've had their drink orders messed up. ("I said diet lemonade and you gave me regular! What are you, a fucking retard?!")

The last time a "vacation fund" was set up was for Karen Klein, the grandmother who was verbally abused by a bus-full of school kids. The difference there; Karen WAS abused, unlike Rachel. So this campaign to send Rachel on a vacation belittles what happened to Karen, which was far, far worse.

Shit, yesterday a customer called me a "fucking stupid-ass cracker". Do I get a vacation?

The very notion of sending Rachel on a vacation over that video is ridiculously silly and is clearly the brainchild of someone who has never worked in the service industry.

In Memory of Gary Carter

Before I ever realized the joy of geekdom, I was, believe it or not, a baseball fan. Well, I guess I can't say "fan", but I watched much more of it than I do now. Granted, my enjoyment of baseball probably stemmed from my father's love of the game. As often as he could he would pack up the family and we would head out to the stadium to watch a game. His favorite team? The New York Mets and, as an extension, they quickly became my favorite team. The era? 1986.

I saw a few games during the '86 Mets' season so I'm quite familiar with the winning team. Consisting of Keith Hernandez, Mookie Wilson, HoJo, and pre-coke Darryl Strawberry and Dwight "Doc" Gooden, the '86 Mets were a joy to watch. I didn't quite grasp all of the rules of the game, but I loved being at the field, under the sun, watching the games with my family. My favorite part of the entire experience was the giant Apple that would spring out of the top hat at the back of the field whenever a home run was hit.

My favorite player on the team was Gary Carter. When I heard of his passing last week, I was devastated. Though I haven't been a fan of baseball in years, or even thought of the man until he hit the news with word of his recent brain cancer, I was still affected emotionally by his passing. I remember the way he played with intensity, dropping to his knees to catch an errant pop-fly. He brought an excitement to the game that audiences don't see nowadays. He played for the love of the game. Sure, he probably made a good living out of it too, but he was still getting paid to do what he loved. His attitude toward the game is what earned him the nickname "The Kid".

As an 11-time All-Star, his contributions to the game of baseball are evident, as are his contributions to the New York Mets' franchise. His RBI in Game 5 of the '86 World Series brought the Mets to a win over the Houston Astors and set the stage to win the series in Game 6. Carter was often accused of being self-absorbed during his tenure with the Montreal Expos, but he didn't come off like that in the eyes of a 6-year old. All I saw was a grown man who was as excited about baseball as I was.

Gary Carter passed away on February 16, 2012 at the age of 57. His passing doesn't change my opinion of the current state of baseball, or even bring me back into the fold of being a baseball fan. I will always remember the man as a childhood idol, someone who brought me hours of entertainment and enjoyment. Though sad, death is truly a part of life, and something that everyone must deal with at some point. When the world lost Gary Carter, a part of the 6-year-old in me died as well.

R.I.P. Gary Carter, April 8, 1954 - February 16, 2012

Review: Dead Reckoning by Charlaine Harris

Charlaine Harris is famous for her Sookie Stackhouse series of books that has become so popular, it has taken over HBO with its hit show True Blood. As much as I admire her work and the characters she's created, it pains me to say that the latest book, Dead Reckoning, was a huge disappointment. With no plots or reason to write the book, I felt that she was more pressed to get a book out as fast as she could to appease her eagerly awaiting fans then with trying to create a story worth reading. I have read many fan reviews, both positive and negative, and seen numerous four-star ratings, but I feel that people are just giving these ratings because it’s Charlaine Harris. I wonder if they read the same book I did?

I didn’t feel the hype or excitement I usually get with Charlaine's books, or that feeling of wanting to know more about how things are going to turn out.

Cue Spoilers Here.



All we got from the book is to be Eric married to the Queen of Oklahoma and that the marriage between Eric and Sookie will no longer be valid. Eric kills Victor. Pam falls in love with a woman who dies from leukemia. Sandra Pelt finally gets killed in an anti-climactic way, her dead body thrown into a fairy portal. And Sookie breaks the blood bond with Eric. All of this sounds exciting, right?

It wasn’t. It left me feeling empty with no care for the will happen in the next book or imagination as to how she is going to write. The only time I felt any sort of excitement was at the end of chapter twelve, and that excitement was gone almost as quickly as it arrived! It seems as if Charlaine wants you to not anticipate the next installment to this fascinating series and, as a fan since the beginning, this just makes me sad.

Does this mean that I will not read her next book or watch the show anymore? Of course not. The story of Eric and Bill will keep me on my tippy toes, but at what point do you just stop and look at where the story is going? Are fans to blame for being so impatient with wanting to know what happens next or who Sookie will end up with? I’m not exactly sure but I felt Dead Reckoning was just written fast to get a book on the shelves. I hope the next one makes up for it, spending better time on the characters and their relationships, or I may no longer be reading this series.

Advice For The Duggars

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