The Slippery Slope of Creating a Macro

I know it’s a little childish, but I’m a fan of macros. Love ‘em. Especially the funny ones. Like the Ermahgerd one, and Guido Jesus. Even some of the Your Ecards are humorous, at least the more offensive ones anyway. But there is a new macro that I spotted on Facebook that almost made me lose my shit.

Yes, the macro is from an idea that can into existence in 1985, paired with one from a movie from 1998. For the simplicity of math, the first is over 25 years old, the second is nearly 15 years old.

I know some people will think I should calm down. After all, it’s just an innocuous image of a screencap from Nintendo’s Duckhunt transposed with a shot of John Goodman from The Big Lebowski holding an orange NES zapper, making reference to his "Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?" line. It’s nothing to get upset about.

Maybe you’re right, but it still annoys me. Why? Because this macro was made by some kid that was born in the late 90s, at least 15 years after this game was popular, and thinks he’s clever because he played Duckhunt on Nintendulator and truly believes that no one has ever felt that way before. The sad part? Anyone who ever had an original NES, and knows the irritation of having to blow into the game cartridge in order to get it to play properly, has always wanted to shoot that fucking dog!

This macro would be like me, who was born in 1980, making a macro image of Neil Armstrong on the moon, and asking “Did anyone else expect him to do the moonwalk?” It’s ridiculous because I wasn’t alive when Neil Armstrong landed on the moon, so for me to have any expectations of the event is just nonsensical. (There’s also the fact that the moonwalk wasn’t around yet either, which is just as idiotic.)

I don’t want to discourage anyone from creating macros. A vast majority of them are absolute shit, but there are quite a few that are really funny. But can we at least not create macro images that are so completely outdated that most of society can’t relate to them?

And now, just to liven the mood, I leave you with this, which will one day become outdated but is currently relevant, which makes it funny…


Really people? A Resse Witherspoon Death Hoax?

This is probably the biggest example of the stupidity of humanity.


This supposed "death hoax" sprung up as a bad joke about the woman's last name. If you're unfamiliar with the joke, it goes a little something like this:

While death hoaxes about some big name celebrity are not rare (I mean, Eddie Murphy dies about once a month now), a person like Reese Witherspoon is not important enough to contrive a death hoax about. It's silly to think someone actually sat in their basement asking the question "Who should die this week?" and came up with Reese Witherspoon. I mean, if I was gonna pick a young, popular actress, I'd probably spread the rumor about Katie Holmes first. Given her marriage to Tom Cruise, it would probably be believable.


A Vacation for Rachel?

I originally posted this on my Facebook page but felt that it would be better served as a blog post.

I saw this yesterday and my only reaction was "Are you kidding me?"


This Indiegogo campaign began as a reaction to the video someone posted online showing him confronting a Chick-Fil-A employee during Wednesday's "Chick-Fil-A Appreciation day". The guy was wrong in every sense of the word and actually lost his high-paying executive job over the incident. But that's not my point.

The campaign's description begins "Rachel, an amazingly awesome and happy Chick-Fil-A employee was treated with great disrespect by a customer during Chick-Fil-A appreciation day." The harshest words she had to deal with were "I don't know how you can live with yourself working here". Disrespectful? Sure. Did she deserve it? No, especially considering the hard economic times we live in and the lengths people will go to put food on their tables at home (a point well expressed by this article). But I would bet the farm that that's FAR from the worst thing she's had to deal with. She probably takes worse abuse from customer's who've had their drink orders messed up. ("I said diet lemonade and you gave me regular! What are you, a fucking retard?!")

The last time a "vacation fund" was set up was for Karen Klein, the grandmother who was verbally abused by a bus-full of school kids. The difference there; Karen WAS abused, unlike Rachel. So this campaign to send Rachel on a vacation belittles what happened to Karen, which was far, far worse.

Shit, yesterday a customer called me a "fucking stupid-ass cracker". Do I get a vacation?

The very notion of sending Rachel on a vacation over that video is ridiculously silly and is clearly the brainchild of someone who has never worked in the service industry.
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