Christmas Tradition Update!

Remember last year when I decided that making Ninjabread Cookies was going to be my new Christmas tradition? Well, I visited Five Below again not too long ago (and multiple times since then, actually) and discovered they had a new cookie kit from the geniuses behind Ninjabread.

Walking Gingerdead cookies.

That's right. Fucking zombie cookies.
Someone somewhere decided that a clever play on words for Christmas treats is "Walking Gingerdead" and blessed the world with zombie cookies for the rest of time.

That man deserves an award.

Five dollars later and I was at home anxiously awaiting a day when I would have time to make some fucking zombie cookies. This past Sunday was that day.

Just like the Ninjabread, the Walking Gingerdead kit comes with almost everything you'll need; you just need to supply butter, honey, powdered sugar and water. After mixing up the dough, you just use the supplied cookie cutters to make the shapes. Nine to eleven minutes in the oven, you have fresh zombie cookies as such:

Then comes the fun/tedious part: decorating! Unlike the ninjas, however, I was tapped for ideas on how to make zombies interesting. I had to enlist the help of Mrs. Idiot as I was growing bored quickly and running out of ideas.

Batch 1: Boring as fuck
It took us some time but we managed to get them all decorated and ready to eat. In fact, a couple of them didn't quite make it (because they got eaten).

Yes, I tried to make a Santa-Zombie. It looks like shit.
As you can see I'm just repeating themes...
Mrs. Idiot came up with the "Brains" one. That's why I love her.
Even though I didn't have as much fun with Walking Gingerdead as I did the Ninjabread cookies, I will still say that this kit was a rousing success. At the very least future batches of gingerbread flavored cookies will have multiple options now that I have a set of zombie cookie cutters available to me.


No more zombie-themed if that's what you were hoping for. More baking is what I mean.

I didn't want to end this post without showing you the shoddy peanut butter fudge and the Oreo Cookie Balls that I made.

Here's the fudge...

It looks even worse in this terrible photograph...
You can see the stripe where the sugar separated making the fudge brittle and gritty. It still tastes pretty good despite the texture and was pretty easy to make. If I do this again (which I likely won't) I'll probably use less sugar and not refrigerate it so quickly. That should help.

Now the Oreo Cookie Balls...

Man, I can't wait to put these balls in my mouth.
This recipe is literally crushed Oreo cookies mixed with cream cheese and dipped in white chocolate. It was Mrs. Idiot's idea to spruce them up with holiday sprinkles to make them more relevant for our Christmas trips. These came out awesome and if it wasn't for the fact that I am watching what I eat and we have to see so much family this week, I likely could have eaten them all. So in a way I'm glad it's Christmas.

This guy's here just because I like him.


That Time I Dreamed Stephen Amell was my BFF

Dreams are weird. Let me rephrase that: my dreams are weird. Granted, I tend to understand where most of them stem from. For example, the recurring dream I have where everything I look at is blurry and nothing I do fixes it manifests from my fear of going blind while my dreams about living in a city of buildings spewing industrial waste and a forest of mushrooms grows up all around me clearly manifests from the "What The Fuck" centers of my brain. But last night I had a strange dream and I just can't figure it out.

A dream where I became best friends with Arrow's Stephen Amell.

This guy.
It started simply enough. I was at a party with the Arrow cast (why I was allowed to attend such a party is never made clear) when I come upon David "Diggle" Ramsey and Colton "Roy Harper" Haynes discussing their dissatisfaction with the snack selection. I point to a plate of Salsa Con Queso (yes, a plate; what animal puts Salsa Con Queso on a plate instead of a bowl is beyond me) and say "I'd kill my mother to get more of that. But I mean like a 'lifetime supply' more. I wouldn't hurt my mother for that little bit."

Tostitos® Salsa Con Queso: So good,
you'll mata your mamá for más.
We have a small laugh at my wittiness when I realize someone behind me is cracking up. I turn to find Stephen Amell listening in on the conversation. He seemed to like the cut of my jib as we spent the rest of the party shooting the shit and having a good time.

That's when the montage started because apparently I dream in '80s movie tropes. Anyway, Stephen and my friendship develops and he takes me on a tour of the Arrow set and teaches me how to use the salmon ladder. We also get some friendly ribbing from Katie "Laurel Lance" Cassidy about our budding bro-mance.

"You guys are so gay for each other."
Also, I accompany Stephen to an awards show where an intrepid photographer takes a picture of him putting me in a half-headlock as we laugh about a joke only the two of us get. Which may have validated Dream-Katie-Cassidy's accusations.

"...seriously. So, so gay."
At this point, most sane people would have woken up but if you scroll down you'll see another two paragraphs of this so clearly I don't fall into this camp. The next part of the dream takes place a few years later. I go to Stephen's house (which, since I've never seen his house, my brain substituted with a stylized version of a middle-school-friend's house which doesn't seem to fit as this house had a very rustic look but I imagine Stephen to be more into a modern ambiance but I digress and also should probably seek professional help) to find that his wife has left on a Girl's Day Out leaving him to watch his daughter. He didn't realize that his wife already had plans when he told me to come over and didn't want to disappoint her but after a long night of shooting the fatigue was evident on his face so he asked me to look after his daughter for a little bit while he catches a nap for an hour.

I say sure, no problem and he goes into the other room while me and the tyke watch cartoons for a bit. Normally, his daughter is well tempered but today she was very finicky and the cartoons only satisfied her for so long. I then tried to teach her how to play a video game (oddly a Guardians of the Galaxy game). But again, her heart wasn't in it so she tosses the controller and walks away. I calmly explain to her (because again, she's usually a very well-behaved child and just seems to be fussy today) that it's not nice to throw things because you could break something or hurt someone. That's when Stephen comes back into the room. I apologize for reprimanding his daughter as I didn't want to step on his toes but he said it was OK and that he couldn't fall asleep and heard the whole thing anyway.

That's about the time that I woke up which was a good thing as I probably may have slipped into madness if it went on any longer.

Sooo... Does anyone want to tell me what it all means?
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