A Plethora of Snacks: Tell 'Em About the Twinkie Edition

Man, it sure has been a while since I gorged myself on junk food. Well, that's not really true, but what is true is that it's been a while since I gorged myself on junk food and written about it.

That's about to change!

It all started when I went in search of the Key Lime Slime Twinkies, a cross-promotion for the new Ghostbusters movie (in theaters July 15!). That search turned into a bust but I did manage to find a different kind of snack cake.

Two, actually.

While the Red, White, & Blue Twinkies were the first to catch my eye, it was the Sea Salt Caramel cupcakes that I really wanted to try.

But by coincidence, The Nerdy Pumpkin and I stopped into a Safeway during a trip to Delaware and we happened upon this...


Seeing an opportunity to do exactly what I'm doing, I snatched them up. So, let's jump in and stuff our faces with cream-filled-yellow-cakes of happiness!

Because the Fourth of July is right around the corner, let's start with these bad boys, presented in full by a Captain America Funko Pop!

And Mom said not to play with our food...
Red, White, & Blue Twinkies
Let me just put it out there that I love Twinkies. Twinkies and Sno Balls are my two favorite snack cakes on the market. So any kind of special edition Twinkie is A-OK in my book.

These seem like a solid choice. Clearly, Hostess is trying to bump their numbers during Independence Day. Not that I blame them; capitalism is the American Way, isn't it? And at least they're going about it the right way (in my opinion). As opposed to slapping the American flag on the box or going the completely classless route and just changing the fucking name of the product to "America", they designed a new product. A Twinkie flecked with red and blue dots to symbolize fireworks.

And it works! It's like a Funfetti Twinkie to celebrate America's freedom. Ain't no shame there. They also kept the cream-filling the same, adding the "white" to the "Red, White, & Blue".

So how do they taste? Exactly the same. They're a little crunchier because of the sprinkles (or "jimmies" if you're from the Northeast [even though these would be closer to nonpareils, but why split hairs?]) but other than that, the flavor is no different. Same yellow cake. Same sweet cream center. It's a Twinkie through and through. Not that that's a problem or anything. I'll eat a Twinkie any day of the week.

So if you're heading to a Fourth of July party, you'd be well off picking up a box of these bad boys.

Star Spangled Cupcakes
So what about our other Patriotic fare?

The bastard step-child to Hostess' classic chocolate squiggle cupcake, this powder-blue confection could be another big one for this weekend. A vanilla cake with blue icing, topped with star-shaped sprinkles will be a hit with the kids at any picnic.

But are they good?

If you're a fan of vanilla, yes, they're quite tasty. However, they seem bland compared to the regular chocolate-on-chocolate cupcakes. The vanilla cake/vanilla icing combo just gets muddled and all becomes one.

Plus the coloring of the sprinkles mixes with the icing, turning the cake into a purple mess. Oh, I still ate the shit out of it, but it looks less appetizing. Either way, these will probably be popular for a couple of weeks before going into hibernation until next June.

Sea Salt Caramel Cupcakes
And now for the ones I've been waiting for!

So it's a yellow cake dealy like the Star-Spangled cupcakes from earlier. Not really a problem since I do like yellow cake cupcakes. Let's just hope that the caramel sea salt makes up it.

Now usually, I'm not a caramel kind of guy. If I'm going with a flavor other than chocolate or vanilla, I'd much prefer a peanut butter over caramel. However, I was really hoping that the sea salt itself would boost the flavor profile of these cupcakes and make them special.

Let me just say they're good. The caramel flavor was much subtler than I expected it to be, and it seemed even then the caramel was centered in the cream-filling. (You can even see that it's tinged brown to denote something different about it.) My issue with these is that you can barely taste the sea salt. Those little white flecks on top may as well be sprinkles because they seem to add nothing of value to the cupcake. If you like caramel flavors, then these are definitely your jam but if you're looking for something more out of the ordinary, keep it moving.

And that's in for the pre-Fourth of July snack-cake breakdown. But be sure to come back in a couple days since this is only Part One of the feature. Here's a little hint of what you can expect to find in the next installment...

Thanks for stopping in!

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