6/05/2009

Hollywood needs to stop.

Over the past couple of years, too many movies have been remade. Some of them have been worth the effort, but most of them have just fallen flat. Now, it has been announced that at least five different franchises are set to either be remade or rebooted. And it's just getting out of hand.

Short Circuit - Producer David Foster says that he wants to bring Johnny 5 to the 21st century and examine all of the awesome advancements that robotics have made since the mid 80's. He then goes on to say that the visual look of Johnny 5 won't be updated. Why? If you're going to make a new robot movie, then make a new robot, something similar to Asimo, with a really creepy 'Uncanny Valley' quality to it. Otherwise, leave this movie alone.

Total Recall - OK, this might be a good idea. Total Recall had a great premise to it, being based on a Phillip K. Dick story, but I don't think it was pulled off very well. Hopefully, the remake will deliver on more than the original did.

Girls Just Want To Have Fun - Why?

Scream - Seeing as how this movie is only 13 years old, isn't it a little early to reboot the franchise? Three movies, all of which were successful (although not very good) should have been enough. Why go and reboot the series now? It just doesn't make sense, except for the studio trying to cash in on teen horror films and not having a single original idea to play with. Did I just solve the mystery?

Alien - I am honestly torn on this one. Modern special effects can make Alien a visual orgasm, but the original is so good I don't want them to fuck it up. But, with the recent reboot of Star Trek, at least there is the possibility that it can be something decent, if not better, and at least turn a new audience on to the franchise without those dreadful '...vs. Predator' films that they have been subjected to. This one I will wait to pass judgement on until it actually comes out.

In all, I think Hollywood needs to develop some new ideas and quit looking to the past for future movies. Or, if they do, remake old, shitty movies and make them better, like The Arrival or Howard the Duck. The next thing you know, they are going to try and reboot Back To The Future, which can only end in tragedy.

If Hollywood really needs ideas, look at all of the great fiction out there that can benefit from a big screen production. Neil Gaiman has 'Anasi Boys' and 'Neverwhere' both of which have rich storylines and deep characters, and would make for visual spectaculars. Not to mention the hundreds of comic book properties not belonging to Marvel or DC that would make for great viewing material. 'Bone' could be made as a 3D CGI film, in the vein of the newest TMNT, and would rock. Then you have Y: The Last Man or Brian Michael Bendis' Powers. All awesome and all ready for the film treatment.

Come on, Hollywood! Do something new. If we wanted the same old shit, we would go to Blockbuster instead of Regal. We want new, good movies. And, if we could make them without you, we would. But for now, we are at your mercy.

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