Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

It's been two years since the release of Michael Bay's epic film Transformers, forever changing our minds about the director's talent. Between then and now, many rumors have been bandied about concerning the content of the sequel. There was a short time when I heard tales of the Dino-Bots having a prominent role in the second Transformers film. But all of those rumors can be put to rest, now that Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen has finally hit theaters.

Many of the early reviews of the movie would lead you to believe that T2: ROTF is an unwatchable pile of crap. Roger Ebert referred to the movie as 'a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments.' Would I agree? Not in the slightest. In my very humble opinion, Roger Ebert is a pompous ass, which is evidenced by many of the snore-fests that he feels are 'great movies.' Clearly his time as a reviewer has jaded him to movies, severely hampering his ability to decipher between a 'work of art' and an 'escape from reality.'

One of Ebert's comments on the movie is "This isn't a film so much as a toy tie-in." No shit. Why else would the name 'Hasbro' be placed in LARGE, BOLD letters within the movies credits? Because the property belongs to Hasbro, and, surprise, surprise, they are in the toy business. Maybe, in a few cases, Ebert should do a little research on the movies he watches, just so he has some clue as the what the fuck is going on. But perhaps the operation of that 'magic button box' on his desk is too much for his brain to comprehend.

Anyway, enough with that. Ebert's an ass, but I don't need to rehash anything. My thoughts on T2: ROTF...

When the movie began, I saw many similarities between the sequel and the original, as far as structure was concerned. Huge robot battle in the beginning. Introduce human element. Evil robots reveal their mission to the audience. I'm not saying this is a bad thing. It worked for the first movie, go on ahead with the second. In fact, when it did deviate from that structure, I began to see the movie falling apart.

There was a long stretch of 45 minutes that just bored the hell out of me. This section was the breeding ground for the plot; the part where Sam's mission is explained to him by an SR-71 Blackbird (one of the coolest planes ever built, mind you.) It was all very necessary to set up the entire point of the movie, but it really did lose me. Do you wanna know why?

Not enough robot violence. Yes, everybody else's biggest bitch about T2: ROTF, the amount of over-the-top violence between walking cars and talking planes, is the only Goddamn reason I wanted to see this movie. Anyone who was a kid in the 80s knows what Transformers is all about. Fighting robots who turn into vehicles, chase each other around, turn back into robots and fight some more. That's it. Nothing else. Thus the reason so many critics are panning the film. They expect Citizen Kane; a tightly woven plot with snappy, intelligent dialogue, tied together with giant robots. Nope, Transformers is not about that at all.

I went into the theater expecting a perfect sequel; a movie on par with the original, such as the Ghostbusters movies. But I was let down. T2: ROTF was not perfect. As I mentioned earlier, there is a long drought of action which weighs the movie down considerably. Another downfall is the amount of humor that was put into the movie. Transformers was a funny film; much funnier than I thought it would be. However, for the sequel, the writers decided to double the amount of corny one-liners and physical gags, in the hopes that they would get double the laughs. However, they failed to remember the formula for humor. X number of natural, well-place jokes will gather X number of laughs, X being equal, of course. But, X number times 2 of stupid, nonsensical, forced jokes will yield X number divided by 2 of laughs. Get it? It really is simple.

To wrap up, I will put it simply. Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen will not win any awards, with the exception of Visual Effects or Sound Editing. Best Writer, Best Director, or Best Picture are out the window as far as possibilities. If you want to see an award winner, rent Slumdog Millionaire. But if you want to watch a movie that will let you escape from the thought of your shitty job or the doldrums of your life, then Transformers 2 is for you.

See it with pride, young Autobot.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...