A letter to the Programming Directors of New York's Radio Stations...

Dear Sirs/Madams;

I have been listening to your radio station for (insert particular number) years and I enjoy the programming that you offer. I like hearing new songs from popular artists, although many times they all begin to sound the same and/or are played too often during the day. Your on-air personalities have the ability to make me laugh/cry/want to kill myself, which helps me to wake up every morning. However, I do have one request that may improve your organization/respectability.

Please stop playing Lady Gaga.

For quite some time now, "Just Dance" was a popular song. It has a catchy beat and the perfect lyrics for a dance club/mid 80's orgy. It has become very popular and because of this, you play it quite often.

Then along came "Poker Face." And I thought the lyrics to "Just Dance" were sexual...

Anyway, my point is you play these two songs far too much. It seems that every time I press any button on the radio in my car, one of these songs in playing. This is not only wrong, but wholly inappropriate.

Don't get me wrong. I like sexual debauchery as much as the next guy. When Gaga starts talking about her "muffin" and proclaims how she will get someone hard, that's just awesome. But the amount that you play this song is insulting. It's like you want me to remember this song, as if I could possibly forget.

Let me put it into an analogy for you. Imagine you just downloaded a twenety minute porn scene from the Internet. It has everything you like in your smut; threeways, anal, and a killer money shot. It's exciting to watch the first couple of times, right? But after about ten or fifteen viewings, it loses its spankabilty, thus causing you to look for new porn to masturbate to.

This is how I feel about Lady Gaga. (In the analogy, Lady Gaga is the porn, and the song is the money shot, in case you didn't get it.) These two songs were fun to listen to the first, I don't know, three hundred times. But now, I want to shoot myself in the face from their overexposure.

Help clean up the airwaves and erase these songs, and this artist in general, from your playlist. I am sure there are other singers/performers who are more than willing to portray themselves as/be sluts for whatever amount of money/marijuana/cocaine they can get. There are plenty of places you can go to find new talent/vagina.

Your cooperation is greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,
The Radio Listeners of America (Or RLA for short)